A 90-year-old grandparent holds information that no archive contains. Here is how to capture it — with practical questions, recording advice, and guidance on separating family lore from documented fact.
Every genealogist eventually hits a documentary wall — a generation where official records are missing, incomplete, or impossible to interpret. At that point, living relatives are often the only people who can push the research forward. A grandparent who emigrated at age 12 may remember the name of the village they left. An elderly aunt may know that the family changed its surname at the border. These are facts that exist nowhere else. This guide shows you how to access them before it is too late.
Prioritise interviews with your oldest living relatives first — grandparents, great-aunts, great-uncles, and elderly cousins. They have the deepest memories and the most limited time. Do not delay under the assumption that you will get to it eventually; families lose their eldest members every year.
Also interview middle-aged relatives who might have had conversations with their own grandparents decades ago. A 60-year-old parent may have heard stories from their grandparents in the 1970s that extend your documented history by another generation.
The best time for an interview is during a family gathering — holidays, reunions, and weddings naturally put older relatives in a storytelling mood. A relaxed setting with no time pressure produces far better conversations than a formal sit-down interview.
The most important distinction in interview preparation is between open-ended questions and closed questions. Closed questions ("What was your grandmother's name?") produce single-word answers. Open-ended questions ("Tell me about your grandparents") produce narratives — and narratives contain details you would never have thought to ask about.
Start every interview with open-ended prompts and follow up with closed questions to nail down specific dates, names, and places.
Always ask permission before recording. Most people are comfortable with being recorded once you explain why — that you want to preserve an accurate record for the family. A smartphone recorder app (Voice Memos on iPhone, Google Recorder on Android) is perfectly sufficient. Place the phone close to the speaker but out of their line of sight so it does not make them self-conscious.
Take written notes in parallel, even if you are recording. Note the names, dates, and places that are mentioned — these are the details you will need to look up afterward. If something is unclear, ask immediately. "You said they came from somewhere in Poland — do you remember what the name was, or what part of Poland?"
Bring photographs to show during the interview. A photograph of a grandparent as a young person often unlocks memories that a verbal question does not. "Who is this person standing next to my great-grandmother?" can surface an entirely unknown branch of the family.
A recorded interview is a primary historical document. Treat it as one.
Build My FamilyHarrison_Margaret_Interview_2025-06-15.m4aFamily oral history is a starting point, not an ending point. Memory is fallible and family stories are subject to embellishment, simplification, and the telephone effect across generations. Common issues include:
After every interview, note which details were verified against a document, which are plausible but unverified, and which contradict the documentary record. This three-tier system — verified, plausible, contradicted — keeps your research honest.
Tip: The best interview is a conversation, not a questionnaire. If your relative starts telling a story you did not ask about, let them. The details you did not think to ask about are often the most revealing.
Build My Family's biographical notes field lets you capture interview summaries alongside each family member's card. Keep your research organised and ready to share.
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